Entergy Seeks New Name

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( – promoted by odum)

Entergy Nuclear Vermont Yankee (ENVY) spokesman David O’Brien has announced a “Name That Nuk” contest for the embattled Vernon reactor operator.

Originally incorporated in Vermont as “ENVY”, Entergy Nuclear seeks input from the public on which other Deadly Sin they would prefer. “That whole ENVY-thing isn’t working”, admitted O’Brien ruefully.

“We’ve got the whole robust gamut to choose from: pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony and sloth”, offered O’Brien. “It’s a tough call, just incredibly important, with long term implications for all Vermonters. First we thought we could get the Governor to make the decision. Then we realized that since Vermonters each have two pounds of nuclear waste stored for them in Vernon, we could instill some pride of ownership with this naming contest.”

Pat O’Donnell, R-Vernon/unGuilford, added, “We first thought “LUST” might be appropriate, since we’re located in Southern Vermont. But the good people of Vernon objected, and we decided to take the heat off by letting the public in on it.”

Allowing the public to participate is not without controversy. Some in the Douglas Administration wanted to rename the reactor “Healthy Living”, while “Vibrant Economy” and “213 Vermont Jobs” were favored by others. In the end, bowing to tradition, so beloved by traditional Vermonters, “We decided to stick with the Seven Deadly Sins”, said O’Brien.

Prizes include installation of radiant floor heating, heated driveways, and landscaping with radiant dairy cows. Or you can have the company’s mascot, Stronty the Clown with the Radiant Smile, at your children’s next birthday party.

All entries become the property of Entergy International. The final decision is final, with no backsies, broken deals, promises, fuel rods, cranes, valves, pipes or waste casks. Details on just how the public will make its will known are still to be worked out.

6 thoughts on “Entergy Seeks New Name”

  3. http://www.progressiveparty.or…

    SAFSTOR Bill

    by Robin Goodfellow

    One item that major media has been ignoring is this bone thrown to Entergy Yankee. It has passed the house and senate with little fanfare, and the Governor is expected to sign. All progressives in the House voted against the measure; voting in the Senate was by voice. From the original bill:

       Statement of purpose: This bill proposes to establish “SAFSTOR” as the official state storage method.

       AN ACT RELATING TO ESTABLISHING AN OFFICIAL STATE STORAGE METHOD

       It is hereby enacted by the General Assembly of the State of Vermont:

       Sec. 1. FINDINGS

       Whereas, the Vermont Yankee nuclear power plant in Vernon has been safely creating hazardous nuclear waste on the banks of the Connecticut River since 1972, and

       Whereas, President Obama has recently acknowledged that the Yucca Mountain Storage facility will never be built, and

       Whereas, most Vermonters recognize that the General Assembly will eventually rollover and allow continued operation of the nuclear power plant in Vernon, and

       Whereas, the Association of Independent Self-Service Temporary Storage Park Operators has not provided any campaign donations to members of the General Assembly or Administration, and

       Whereas, SAFSTOR will allow three generations of Vermonters to pass on before the cost of decommissioning is levied on to the taxpayers, therefore

       The General Assembly finds that SAFSTOR is the only storage method that allows avoidance of making any difficult decisions about nuclear power.

       Sec. 2. 1 V.S.A. § 911 is added to read:

       § 911. STATE STORAGE METHOD

       The state storage method shall be “SAFSTOR.”

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