Dubie found locked in Governor’s car since January

In light of the disappearance of the Governor (discussed below), state officials and lawmakers turned to Lieutenant Governor Brian Dubie to fulfill his Constitutional role, only to realize he hadn't been seen since January. The whereabouts of Dubie temporarily eclipsed discussions of the fate of Jim Douglas in the statehouse, where mutterings of "…oh, him? Is he still around?", "oh yeahhh, that guy," and "we have a Lieutenant Governor?" were repeatedly heard.

After noting that Dubie's public appearance schedule had no events listed since March of 2007, the Sergeant-at-Arms instituted a full search for the missing officeholder before a sharp-eyed pedestrian noticed something in the Governor's spare car, which had been left in a Pavilion parking space since early January. Officials speculate that Governor Douglas used the extra car while his other was in the shop, left it locked, and simply forgot that Dubie was trapped inside.

"We tried using the slim jim, but ended up having to call a locksmith to get him out of there" a Montpelier police officer was heard to say. "He was looking pretty rough by the time we got him out of there. Fortunately, the Governor had left one of the windows open a crack so he could get some air, but as near as we can tell, he's just been living on what he can find wedged in the seats."

The officer went on to explain that other drivers parking in the lot occasionally referred to hearing some odd sounds, but had dismissed them as irrelevant. "What people – even the Governor – need to understand is that you have to take responsibility for leaving critters in the car like this. These Vermont winters are pretty rough, but thank heaven it wasn't the summertime, or we might've had a real tragedy on our hands."

2 thoughts on “Dubie found locked in Governor’s car since January

  1. this could have been much much worse – be thankful Dubie didn’t go pants shopping with Douglas; ah – wait a minute… let me think about that..

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