Humor–Kim Jong-un as Archie Bunker

I crack up every time I see a picture of Kim Jong-un.  What a fat dumb-looking douche bag.  He looks like one of those OBESE Americans Michelle talks about.

Well, he fired his Uncle–Uncle ‘Fester’ Jong-un, and now Uncle Fester’s aide has apparently fled to South Korea.  Maybe they’ll all wind up in Vermont eventually.  Join the Second Vermont Republic and the Tea Party.  We love ‘diversity’ here, right?

These assholes really ought to put together a sitcom for FOX TV.  Make some money for their starving people.

A North Korean ALL IN THE FAMILY, with fat Kim as a Communist Archie Jong-un, displaced to New Jersey, and raving about his imperialist capitalist pig neighbors, and threatening to Nuke them if they mess with the 1959 ‘classic’ Russian car he has up on cinderblocks in his driveway.

Need an Edith Jong-un, and then we’re all set.

“Oh Archie, I was at WalMart today with Louise Jefferson and we heard Barack Obama’s going to be in Fort Lee next week.”

“Huh.  This is not good news, Edith.  Maybe for those Jeffersons.  The neighborhood already has enough black and hispanic imperialist pigs.  And then there’s the Wops, the Hebes, and the goddamn Polacks.  If Uncle Fester had not gotten me that awful job on the loading dock, I’d take us back to North Korea, where I would never have to look at another white, black, or brown face again.”

“Oh, but Archie, we’re sort of brown ourselves.”

“Edith, you are becoming like that mythical beast our foolish people still hunt for in the hills for food.  The Dingbat.  Please to stifle yourself.  I am watching on FOX TV here that Dennis Rodman in an exhibition basketball game from our former People’s State.  That black son of an imperialist bitch is trying to get our people to make him President.  Just what we need.  More black Presidents.  I remember the good old days when men like me were revered as LEADERS. Now, every black Polack capitalist dog is a goddamn President of something. The world is going to Hell in a donkey cart, Edith.”

“Yes, Archie.  But Mr. Irving was over this morning and fixed the furnace.  He says we’re all set for Winter.”

“Ah, Mr. Irving.  The dirty Jew.  And what did Mister Hebe-Me-Up-My-Ass charge us this time, Edith?”

“Oh, nothing, Archie.  He said to consider it a Christmas gift.  He’s such a nice man.”

“Nice.  Let the Jew be nice to our suffering Comrades in Gaza.  And beware, Edith, of Jews bearing Christmas gifts.  It’s all one of those…what do you call it?…CONSPIRACIES…yes, conspiracies between Israel and the white and black Polack imperialists to mongrelize all of us remaining good RED-blooded Asian Comrades of the True Communist Faith.”

“Yes, Archie.”

“Now, Edith, I must turn my attention back to Dennis Rodman here.  The dirty Black Wop Spic Jew Polack bastard!  Not once since we moved here has he come to pay his respects to me.  I may NUKE him.  After I NUKE that white honky paper boy named Beaver who throws our LITTLE NORTH KOREA FREE PRESS through the broken windshield of my classic car continually, and with malice.  I will NUKE them all, Edith!  Please to bring me another brewski, as the black Jew faggot fairy Polack Wops say.”

“Yes, Archie.  They had a big sale at WalMart, so I got you this Light Beer.  It’s cheap, and it’s good for you too.”

Ah jeez.”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

4 thoughts on “Humor–Kim Jong-un as Archie Bunker

  1. great one Petey. I could actually hear Ediths screechy voice & Archies muttery Queens accent.

    The kid doesn’t look too bright. He’s younger than my youngest child. That he is the leader of  N. Korea is none too comforting.

  2. Now Kim’s Aunt has disappeared.  Must be he didn’t want to spend money on Christmas presents for his Uncle AND Aunt.  And probably more on his XMas Hit List.

    Well, there’s an idea.  All those relatives and so-called friends you don’t really like but feel obliged to buy presents for, or invite to Christmas dinner–Hell, just KILL them.  Save money and shopping aggravation.  Boy, WalMart will never make in North Korea.

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