As VPR’s Bob Kinzel reports, the legislature is arguing over the $21 million CVPS owes consumers upon its sale to GMP owner Gaz Metro. [Late addition: NOTE that the purchase/merger deal is on the docket of the Public Service Board for review. It is unclear what impact a legislative prescription for the $21 million ‘refund’/’investment’ will have.]

In its campaign to get the money back, AARP cites the utilities’ own survey (403 Vermonters by phone in January this year) as showing Vermonters’ disbelief that they will ever see a dime.

The Vermont electric utilities telephone survey explores the opinions of 18+ residents on the upcoming merger between Central Vermont Public Service and Green Mountain Power.

The survey finds that Vermont residents do not believe they will see lower electric bills as a result of the merger. Some residents believe that the $21 million dollars that Central Vermont Public Service (CVPS) customers paid to prevent CVPS from going bankrupt should be paid back through a one-time refund while others think it should be paid back through savings over the next two years.

[emphasis added]

I tend to agree. Every time Mary Powell or her good friend Governor Peter Shumlin speak on this issue, it begins to sound like hedge funders talking about credit default swaps. Here’s Powell, with a response from Sen. Vince Illuzzi:

(Powell) “I’m not arguing with how the $21 million is counted in terms of our ability to earn a return on it. We will, yes, when we take the $21 million and we invest it, there’s a return that is paid.”

(Illuzzi) “The utility then gets to reclaim that $21 million in the form of increased electric rates. And that, in my judgment, is not how you repay a loan. You don’t simply advance what you owe back and then take it back again.”

The real flaw in the deal where the bullies keep our money is the sweetener: the merged company says it will invest the $21 million in efficiency, saving all ratepayers even more over time.

Do you, Mary Powell, and you, Governor Shumlin, really expect us to believe that the utility would not otherwise invest in efficiency?!

Puh-leeese.

Not to mention, if I’m reading this aright, it wasn’t all Vermonters who advanced that money to CVPS: It was CVPS’s own rate payers.

David Reville, the communications director for AARP Vermont, has one of the better analogies:

Reville said in the past month and a half 14,000 Central Vermont Public Service customers have sent petitions to the Public Service Board, saying they want their money back.

“The bottom line is it’s a matter of fairness,” Reville said. “What they’re proposing is tantamount to the state taking your tax refund and spending it on bridges, state parks, road salt or new trucks because they think it will help Vermont.”

[emphasis added]

This shell game is part and parcel of the attitude of the owning class toward the rest of us, a patronizing reassurance that they know better than we do, and everything will be fine, if we would just sit back and let them take total control of our lives and bank accounts. Powell’s got it, and Gov. Shumlin’s got it (in his refusal to ask the ones who can afford more to pay more).

Enough! CVPS owes its ratepayers $21 million and has stated its intention never to hand over a single thin dime, and to bury those dollars in the hazy “efficiency savings.” The deal should be stopped until that money is paid.

Dear oh dear, apparently one of our innocent little japes has caused a flutter in the State Senate.

The American Federation of Teachers tried to pressure [Senate President Pro Tem John] Campbell into reconsidering his stance on the childcare workers unionization bill last week. (He blocked the legislation last month.) They sent a flier to lawmakers referring to a Green Mountain Daily post that accused the senator of falling prey to “bunched knickers syndrome” on the issue. The effort backfired: Campbell hasn’t changed his mind. “I find it unfathomable that they would resort to these types of tactics,” he said. “It certainly doesn’t help the cause of organized labor.”

Harrumph.

First of all, for the record, it’s “Bunched Knicker Syndrome,” singular, defined as “a sense of heightened distress felt by the overly self-important following a minor annoyance.”

Second, I really appreciate the AFT shout-out, but I can’t say it’s smart politics. See, our job is to stand on the sidelines and throw stuff at people who deserve it. Your job, AFT lobbyists, is to get those people on your side. And citing GMD snark, while it may give you a momentary tingle, isn’t going to advance your cause. Especially when a chronic BKS sufferer is standing in your way.

Third, while the AFT would be wise to consider a change in tactics, John Campbell needs to get off his high horse. (An especially painful perch when one’s knickers are in a twist. Ow.) An inflated sense of self-importance is a natural by-product of high political achievement, and Mr. Campbell’s got it bad. Your job, sir, is to conduct the people’s business and advance beneficial legislation. It is not to massage your ego.

There’s a simple cure for BKS: Relax and unbunch. You’ll feel better, and you’ll do a better job.  

A small hint, courtesy of Martin Mull:  

Men, men, men.

It’s a ship all filled with men.

You’ll never have to lift the seat; there’s no one here but men

Men, Men, Men, Men

Men, Men, Men, Men

So here we are in the 21st Century, in good old progressive Vermont, reputedly the most liberal state in the union. And when President Obama comes to town, what do we get? A penis party. It’s pretty damn appalling. If anyone tells you we’ve attained gender equality in America, just show ’em this picture.

Did anyone in the Democratic Party or the Shumlin Administration give any thought to the optics of this? Could they have invited Deb Markowitz or Liz Miller along, just for show? Or possibly Vermont’s  Designated Gender Pioneer Madeleine Kunin? Why not. Does Bernie have a female aide? Bring her along, man.

Look, I realize this is a small sample size, it’s entirely symbolic, and Governor Shumlin is fully committed to equal rights and blah blah blah. But that photo might as well have been taken in 1956 (well, except for the black President thing, and Vermont gets no points for that). In the year 2012, pictures like this shouldn’t exist anymore.

But they do. And there’s the rub.

After the jump: Let’s do the numbers.  

I spent a little time looking at some government rosters, and I noticed a trend: the closer you get to the hub of political power, the more people with penises you will find.  The State House has 59 women out of 150 members; not bad, could be better. The Senate has 11 women and 19 men; probably beats Mississippi by a comfy margin.

Governor Shumlin’s Cabinet has nine men and three women. That’s about the minimum acceptable number for an Administration that claims a commitment to equality.

Statewide elected offices: Five men and one woman — Beth Pearce. Who, for the record, was appointed to the post of Treasurer to replace Jeb Spaulding. She’ll be in her first-ever election campaign this fall.

House Speaker? Male. Senate President? Male.

Congressional delegation, I probably don’t have to tell you: three men, no women. What’s more, Vermont has never, ever sent a woman to Congress.

That’s a disgrace.

In some ways, Vermont has fully earned its liberal reputation. In other ways, it’s a very hidebound place. And the world of Vermont political power is still a men’s club. That fact was on display last Friday on the BTV tarmac.  

(In the spirit of sharing some of our favorite works by Julie Waters, I thought I’d re-post this one. There are so many to choose from, and each has its merits, but this one, to me, showcases her unique ability to bring a different perspective to issues. While sites, including this one, were celebrating April Fools day with fun fictitious follies, she kept us aware of the ludicrousness, and seriousness, of real follies happening in the real world. – promoted by simplify)

#1: The dissapointment of racist “Hunger Games” fans.

Yes.  People who were described in the books as dark-skinned were portrayed by dark skinned actors and people got offended.  

#2: Pretty much every single thing about the Trayvon Martin case and Florida’s insane “stand your ground” law, which should possibly be renamed the “lynch mob protection act.”  I wonder how all this will play out the first time a non-white person tries to evade prosecution using the law.

Question: if you wear a sleeveless hoodie, can you be legitimately classified as “unarmed?”

#3: The National Organization for Marriage and everything about them, but especially this:

#4: Rick Santorum calling Obama a “nig-” and then backing off in mid sentence.

So what we have here is Santorum referring to Obama starting with the word “nig-” and then stopping in mid-sentence and saying something else instead.

Now, unless he was trying to accuse Obama of being “niggardly,” (which, to me, seems unlikely) I’m having trouble understanding what else he might have possibly meant in this case if he wasn’t about to accidentally let loose a racial slur.

Beyond finding this to be extremely offensive, I find the whole thing just bizarre and unfathomably sad. Words like this don’t come out of the blue. They come out of having direct experience with the use of the word as a normal part of everyday life. The idea that a nominee for a major political party who’s actually won a few primaries is in the environment where this sort of thing is comfortable is deeply disturbing, and should be regardless of your party affiliation.

#5: Potential Employers demanding Facebook passwords from potential employees.  Seriously, people?  I like what a friend of mine said about this: “ask your interviewees for their fb passwords. If they give them to you, that’s a no-hire.”

#6: The whole crazy, over the top, insane, absurd idea the war on women is about religious freedom.  

#7: The idea that the health care mandate has anything to do with broccoli.  I don’t have the capacity for expressing this the way Lewis Black would, so just watch the video at the end to get the sense of how I feel about this.

#8: The weather.  It was nice to get to wear capris and sandals last week, but I live in Vermont.  We don’t do that.

#9: Bigoted ads intended to marginalize people whose gender expression is not mainstream:

I don’t know if I can keep saying this, but, really?  You people wasted money on that piece of drivel?  

#10: The entire GOP primary season.  I’m not going to post a link.  I just can’t choose.

To summarize, today I am playing the role of Lewis Black, because he can do cranky so much better than I can.

Yes, I am that cranky.

We can only wonder whether the return of more typical late-winter/early spring weather after summer weather ended the maple sap run is a relief or a case of humanity playing a colossal and extended April fool prank on us all. The frogs in my pond are clearly confused.

The photo above is the pond and some of its surprised denizens during the warm weather.

This one was taken not long after.

Poor froggies.

 While taking time off from his duties presiding over the Vermont State Senate, Lt. Governor Phil Scott got a scare but thankfully was not harmed in an incident involving two alpacas. As part of Scott’s continuing Vermont Everyday Jobs Campaign Tour(an initiative to promote the Lt. Governor and showcase his relationship with the business community)the Lt. Governor spent the day making the rounds with Northern Vermont large-animal veterinarian Dr. Eda Fitchew.

While making a “house call” and photo op at the newly operational Vermont Alpaca Meats and Products Co. (VAMP) in the North East Kingdom, Scott and Dr. Fitchew were briefly pinned in a stall between an unusually aggressive older male and a young female alpaca. Luckily workers at the state-of-the-art farming operation acted quickly and pried open the stall gate which had jammed shut. The slightly shaken Lt. Governor and veterinarian made a hasty retreat from the stall away from the rowdy ungulates to safety.

After thanking the helpful farmhands and dusting himself off Lt. Governor Scott regained his composure and said “It was a really interesting experience,” and added “Each ‘Everyday Job’ generates information that I can bring back to Montpelier, and this visit showed me how much our state needs capable large-animal vets like Dr. Fitchew.”

Vermont Alpaca Meat Products Company (NYSE: VMPCO) opened just two years ago and is attempting to capture the growing market for alpaca specialty meats and associated products.

“In addition to our current slaughterhouse, The Olde Time Butcher Shoppe and snack bar the longterm goal is to capitalize on efficient functional use of the entire animal resource” says a VAMP Co. spokesperson. “To achieve that the former site of a miniature golf course/drive-in movie  will eventually house a tannery and high end retail clothing boutique featuring locally made Alpaca leather gloves, hats and handbags.”

With the aid of extensive state and local tax incentives and Federal EB-5 foreign investment status, VAMP Co. is growing rapidly, and has plans to “one day employ four or five seasonal part time workers” says the company spokesperson. Although still headquartered in Vermont, VAMP Co. also operates a newer but smaller Guanaco meat canning facility in South Carolina.

Vermont: Where your EB-5 funds are on the hoof and providing up-close-and-personal inspection opportunities for elected officials!

You people  aren’t the only ones who can write your little blog “diaries.”  

Of course, I know for certain that you will remove this as soon as you see it, because you are all such hyprocrites and people outside the echo chamber don’t take you seriously.

Nuclear energy is the only alternative to fossil fuel.  You’re wasting everyone’s time suggesting things like wind and solar and efficiency.

“Efficiency;” don’t make me laugh.

Efficiency is for morons…and wimps.  “Efficiency” is a one room apartment with a shower and a hotplate.  My grandmother was efficient.  She could diaper a baby and set  the dinner table at the same time.  ‘Didn’t make it a

good idea.

This great country shouldn’t have to be efficient.  Consumption is the engine of growth, and growth is the engine of consumption.  It’s a perfect circuit exactly as it is.

Don’t change a thing.

But you morons wouldn’t understand that kind of smart thinking. You just want to sit in your little caves and wait for all the lights to go out; because they will, you know!

Once Vermont Yankee goes off-line all the lights in New England will blink-out like Tinkerbell at a skeptics’ convention.

I am a nuclear engineer.  Can’t you tell?  Really; your ignorance is

mind-boggling.

( – promoted by mataliandy)

GMD has learned that one of the hidden provisions of the state’s new healthcare law, strongly backed by Governor Peter Shumlin, would require grocery store cashiers to remove all sugar-sweetened beverages in any person’s order and substitute an equal dollar amount of broccoli.

“They can carry it on their shelves,” Governor Shumlin declared, referring to sugar-sweetened beverages, “but we’re not going to let people get diabetes and cost the taxpayers money for sugar- and obesity-based diseases. That just burdens our system and wastes healthcare dollars. Let ’em eat broccoli!”

The governor’s stance was closely aligned with President Obama’s healthcare plan provisions, although the checkout substitution for soda pop and other sugar-sweetened beverages is a uniquely Vermont twist. The Governor’s spokesman, Secretary of Administration Jeb Spaulding, refused comment on rumors that the original proposal specified kale instead of broccoli. Broccoli was accepted, knowledgeable insiders said, as long as kale was the back-up vegetable in the absence of broccoli of sufficient quality.

A legislative tussle behind closed doors before the bill gained committee approval featured Attorney General William ‘Wild Bill’ Sorrell throwing what observers called “a tantrum” because his favorite vegetable, Brussels sprouts, was not the required ‘green’ substitute.

Sorrell, facing a Democratic primary, refused to acknowledge the broccoli-Brussels sprouts split in the ranks. “I still have serious Democratic support,” he maintained, “Governor Dean still likes me! Or at least, he still feels like he owes my dear departed mother for his political career. Thanks, Mom.”

The incumbent attorney general also claimed that the substitution of an equal dollar amount of a vegetable was his idea. “It’s even better than a tax, there’s no oppression of the poor here, and it doesn’t cost more money to make them eat green,” he explained. “It’s the best idea I’ve had in decades! But it really should’ve been Brussels sprouts.”

No one is discussing the possibility of lawsuits by soda-industry giants Pepsi and CocaCola and large-scale purveyors of what is popularly known as “junk food,” such as Walmart.

Nor has there been any response to questions regarding what unintended effect this provision might have on the market price of broccoli, or whether the green vegetable closely associated in popular culture with apparent melanin-overriding growth hormones, resulting in a change of skin color and giantism, would be conventionally grown or organically raised.

GMD has learned that one of the hidden provisions of the state’s new healthcare law, strongly backed by Governor Peter Shumlin, would require grocery store cashiers to remove all sugar-sweetened beverages in any person’s order and substitute an equal dollar amount of broccoli.

“They can carry it on their shelves,” Governor Shumlin declared, referring to sugar-sweetened beverages, “but we’re not going to let people get diabetes and cost the taxpayers money for sugar- and obesity-based diseases. That just burdens our system and wastes healthcare dollars. Let ’em eat broccoli!”

The governor’s stance was closely aligned with President Obama’s healthcare plan provisions, although the checkout substitution for soda pop and other sugar-sweetened beverages is a uniquely Vermont twist. The Governor’s spokesman, Secretary of Administration Jeb Spaulding, refused comment on rumors that the original proposal specified kale instead of broccoli. Broccoli was accepted, knowledgeable insiders said, as long as kale was the back-up vegetable in the absence of broccoli of sufficient quality.

A legislative tussle behind closed doors before the bill gained committee approval featured Attorney General William ‘Wild Bill’ Sorrell throwing what observers called “a tantrum” because his favorite vegetable, Brussels sprouts, was not the required ‘green’ substitute.

Sorrell, facing a Democratic primary, refused to acknowledge the broccoli-Brussels sprouts split in the ranks. “I still have serious Democratic support,” he maintained, “Governor Dean still likes me! Or at least, he still feels like he owes my dear departed mother for his political career. Thanks, Mom.”

The incumbent attorney general also claimed that the substitution of an equal dollar amount of a vegetable was his idea. “It’s even better than a tax, there’s no oppression of the poor here, and it doesn’t cost more money to make them eat green,” he explained. “It’s the best idea I’ve had in decades! But it really should’ve been Brussels sprouts.”

No one is discussing the possibility of lawsuits by soda-industry giants Pepsi and CocaCola and large-scale purveyors of what is popularly known as “junk food,” such as Walmart.

Nor has there been any response to questions regarding what unintended effect this provision might have on the market price of broccoli, or whether the green vegetable closely associated in popular culture with apparent melanin-overriding growth hormones, resulting in a change of skin color and giantism, would be conventionally grown or organically raised.

Vermont’s political landscape was turned upside down today after the unexpected re-entry of a familiar figure in state politics.

“I’m back!” said former Governor Howard Dean, announcing a surprise bid to retake the corner office. He vowed to “take the fight directly to Ol’ Parrot Beak,” and “wage a vigorous campaign for a return to the office that I, in all due modesty, held with such distinction.”

He paused for effect, and added: “I believe that in times like these, what Vermont needs is not the same old face, but a new old face!

“And besides, if you’re going to have a Democratic Governor who plays to the center, talks tough to the unions, placates the rich, and triangulates as much as he governs, why not have the original instead of an imitation?”

Dean closed his announcement by saying “Now we’re going to Rutland! We’re going to Bennington and Brattleboro, and Springfield and White River and Saint Johnsbury and Saint Albans! And we’re going to Manchester and Stowe and Killington! And then we’re going to Montpelier to take back the Statehouse! Yeeeeaaaaaaaauugh!”

After the jump: the political world reacts to the shocking news.

When reached for comment, Vermont GOP chair Jack Lindley cackled loudly into the phone. “Good one! You’re kiddin’, right?” Upon being assured that Dean’s announcement was authentic, he said, “Ha! I bet the Governor is soiling his shorts!”

Later, Governor Shumlin held a brief news conference in his Statehouse office, Secretary of Administration Jeb Spaulding at his side. “That no-good rotten son of a –” Spaulding grabbed his elbow and whispered urgently in his ear. “Er, ahem, that is, I mean, we welcome the return of such a distinguished — elder — statesman after such…a…long, long, looong absence. My staff will be happy to brief him on the issues of current, modern-day concern to Vermonters — you know, the stuff that’s happened since he left office ten years ago. And if he’s forgotten how to get to Montpelier, we’ll be glad to refresh his memory.”

He then turned abruptly and stalked off, mistakenly exiting into his private bathroom. After a brief pause, he stormed back through the room and left, waving off all questions from reporters.

“This could really shake up the governor’s race,” said Eric Davis, Vermont’s Pundit Laureate. “Then again, maybe not. It’s too soon to tell for sure. Things might really get interesting, though. Which reminds me, I’m available for lectures and public appearances. You can get in touch through my website, vtpunditlaureate.com.”