The mind is a very strange thing.  For some reason, I’ve been thinking about my friend Christine lately.  

Christine and I were close to the same age and she was one of the first people I became good friends with after I moved to Providence.  

She was funny, wicked smart, and looked at the world differently from pretty much anyone I knew.  She was also unhealthy for most of her adult life, chronically depressed, yet still strove to find good in almost everyone, even when she was actively shutting them out of her life.

I had spent much of my adult life alone.  She wasn’t hearing any of that, and on Thanksgiving one year, she invited me to come.  It turned into a thing, where I was actively expected each year.  For years, I would sit with her and her family.  I think partially it was for cover.  She and I were usually the only vegetarians there, so it gave her opportunity to cook more of the food she wanted.  When I got diagnosed with diabetes, she was intensely supportive, never pushing me to eat more than I should and always making a point of stopping anyone else from trying to guilt me into eating more (a common plague of social situations that revolve around food).

When I turned 30, she called me.  She wanted to know if I was freaking out (I wasn’t).  She had completely freaked out a few months earlier when it happened to her.  To me, it was just one of those things.  I had more trouble with 36, because that meant I was closer to 40 than 30.  That kind of freaked me out a bit, but that just gave me time to get over it.  Today, at 42, I’m back to being unconcerned with age.  (though I anticipate a major freakout when I turn 46).

Christine didn’t make it this far.  She went to bed one night.  She didn’t wake up the next.  It might have been intentional on her part.  It might not have.  I’ve never asked.  I didn’t think her mom needed to be put through that sort of question.  Knowing Christine, I could have easily seen it either way.  I always kind of felt she was constantly wondering if she was ready to check out of the world.  

I got that, in a pretty major way.  I wasn’t so sure at the time I wanted to stick around either.

I hadn’t seen Christine for more than a year when she passed.  I’d moved away from Providence and found it hard to work up a desire to return.  Her memorial service was what got me to come back.  I hadn’t known until then that she’d had Lyme disease for half a decade.  She hadn’t known either.  She’d finally gotten treatment for it in the year before she’d died.  She was healthier and more active than she’d ever been as an adult.

What a way to go.  When you’re finally healthy.

After she died, I saw and heard her in various ways for about a week.  I don’t mean I believe she was actually there.  I mean, I would be doing something, and I’d hear her voice saying something to me.  It was generally something funny and clever.  One time I got into the car and looked in the rear view mirror and saw her, just for a moment.  And then I heard her say “make sure you don’t crash into anything” and that was it.  This happened off and on for about a week.  Then it just stopped.  And it never happened again.

That was a long time ago.  A lot of small things have changed.  A few big ones have, too.  I’m not going to go into details about that. I’ve written about many of them in the past, and some of the more deeply personal ones, I will most likely never write about, but I will share them with close friends when the time is right.  

I don’t mourn Christine.  She had a short, but incredible, life, one filled with richness of experience, creativity and moments of major joy.  I adored her.  I miss her still sometimes, but I stopped mourning her a long time ago.  

Today, as a diabetic, as someone struggling with health, someone who spent so much of her life just not very active, I think back to friends who have died and find myself thinking “move.”  

Even as I write this, I think, “I want to get up.”  I’m ansty to get back on the treadmill again.  I’ll do that, very soon, but first I want to just say: I spent too much time, too many years wallowing in my inability to make progress with my own health.  I spent too much of my life trying to convince myself that because my medications have weight gain as a side effect, this was an excuse for not being healthier.  I spent too much of my life thinking that I wasn’t worth self improvement.

So this is where it stands:

I deserve better than I have thought of myself.

I deserve better than I have allowed myself.

I deserve better than I have treated myself.

From this day forward, I honor those who have passed by living my life by living it.  I honor myself by treating myself better than I think I deserve.  

I’ve stopped thinking I might have the strength to do this. I’m beyond that now.  Now I’m just doing it.

How about you?

UPDATED: See below.

 Friday afternoon the blog Beyond VSH published the story that once again the feds have denied certification of Vermont State Hospital. The details are that the hospital has been decertified by CMS, the federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, almost continuously since 1993, which means that the state isn't eligible to get Medicare or Medicaid payment for the patients there. In cash terms for the budget, this decision blows an $8 million hole in the budget out of the VSH operating costs of about $23 million a year.

This is kind of a big problem, because  budget writers – both in the administration of Gov. James Douglas and in the Legislature – assumed that the hospital would regain certification and be eligible for Medicaid and Medicare money in fiscal year 2011 which begins in July. Yes, we were banking on that money to make our budget next year.

It should also be a political problem for the Douglas administration because of the way they slow-walked the news to the Legislature.

The administration got the news late Thursday afternoon. Early Friday afternoon, in the course of his testimony in Senate Approps, Mental Health Commisioner Michael Hartman mentioned the loss of certification, but made no broader announcement of the decision from CMS.

A little later, around 3:00, the House was debating final passage of the budget, still with no announcement of the denial of certification until it came out on the floor.

So in other words, the Douglas Administration had the information for twenty-four hours and said nothing to the House, or to the Appropriations Committee, even though they knew this news would affect the budget that was going to be on the floor the very next day.

UPDATE: It's even worse than it sounds.

Hard to believe, but GMD has heard from Rep. Anne Donohue that the Administration's tactics went beyond just being dilatory on releasing the information. Thursday evening, after the state had the letter from CMS denying recertification, the House Democratic Caucus met to talk about voting on the budget. 

Douglas's Administration Secretary Neale Lundeville and Finance Commissioner Jim Reardon came to the Democratic caucus to support Shap Smith on not delaying the budget vote.  Did the caucus hear a word from Lunderville and Reardon about the decertification? Nope. They left that for the chance to sandbag Martha Heath on the floor Friday.

There's other coverage of the certification news, and why they didn't get certified, and it's definitely worth reading, but today I have a couple of other questions.

First, what the hell were they thinking? They knew they had a decision from the feds that was going to add $8 million to the state budget shortfall and they didn't go to the House, which was debating the budget, or to the House Appropriations Committee, which was presenting the budget on the floor of the House. Did they think that it just wouldn't come up? Did they really think they could slide this one by? They had to know that it woud come up before the Senate got the bill, so they'd have to deal with it anyway. Can't anybody here play this game?

Second, when is this going to start costing Douglas? The Hospital has been decertified almost continuously since 2003, or almost the entire time that Douglas has been governor, and his administration has essentially done nothing about it. At least, nothing but waste time, come up with unrealistic and unfeasible plans, and we're no closer to a replacement for VSH than we were seven years ago. You walk around the State House and legislators of all parties are openly scornful of the idea that the administration has any kind of plan to do anything, anytime.

And the cost to Vermont's taxpayers? It's hard to say, but a rough estimate of $50-80 million is probably in the ballpark. Any ideas what else we could be doing with that money if we hadn't had to take it out of the General Fund to patch the State Hospital budget?

If the total lack of leadership isn't entirely the responsibility of Douglas and his appointees, whose fault is it? As much as any other issue, Douglas owns this one. yet as far as I can tell, Douglas has been able to get away with treating this whole disaster as though he is as much a spectator as anyone else. Could the truth really be as simple as what I heard a Democratic representative say recently? People just don't care enough about VSH and the people it serves for it to make a difference?

And my last question: What are the Democratic candidates for governor going to do about it?  They all spoke at a debate on mental health and substance abuse issues last Monday night (not sure if an empty chair was provided for Dubie), but we didn't have this news then. I wasn't at the debate, but I understand that nobody had a particularly compelling proposal for how they'll deal with the crisis that will still be sitting on their desk next January. It seems that this is an opportunity to demonstrate a reality-based understanding of our situation, compassion for the people who are locked up in the current facility, and a vision for the future. Those all seem like good things for a Democratic governor, don't they?

As Vermont Yankee Vice President of Operations Mark Savoff was having a press conference this week pledging new "openness and transparency,” another effort was afoot in the opposite direction. The Vermont PSB had been notified on Wednesday of Entergy’s request for a protective order for their recent internal report into the miscommunication (AKA lies) about the underground/buried pipes. All of it hits the Rutland Herald news quietly on a Saturday. Nicely done.    

Entergy Nuclear attorney John Marshall, and three other attorneys from Downs Rachlin Martin, requested the protective order from the board Wednesday, a day before Entergy Nuclear executive Mark Savoff reiterated a pledge Thursday during a press conference for openness and full communication.  

Entergy specifically is seeking to seal the report from its internal investigation conducted by its law firm, Morgan Lewis & Bockius LLP, into whether Entergy Nuclear Vermont executives lied to state regulators, state consultants and legislators over the existence of buried underground pipes at Vermont Yankee.

and I don’t care if Peter “The Weasel” Welch continues to go with the lie … and yes … this is about ACORN.

And yes … I’m referring to how weasel welch gleefully joined his radical right wing buddies in the US House in using fabricated evidence to attack ACORN.

And the lies continue. In today’s Times Argus, Charges reduced in phone caper at senator’s office, an AP report talks about a pending plea deal involving the anti-ACORN slur video’s maker/producer. We find this little tidbit in the “news” story: “O’Keefe, a videographer famous for wearing a pimp costume in a stunt that embarrassed the ACORN community organizing group, …”.

Fact: O’Keefe the liar NEVER wore his pimp costume in the ACORN offices. As a matter of fact and reality (you paying attention weasel welch?) O’Keefe and his girl buddy specifically said they were trying to get the girl buddy away from a violent pimp. On top of that O’Keefe never tells ACORN workers he is a pimp .. instead O’Keefe tells them various stories of being a law student.

But better we mindlessly repeat lies … right weasel welch?

Crossposted from Border Jumpers, Danielle Nierenberg and Bernard Pollack.

The majority of farmers in sub-Saharan Africa- in some areas up to 80 percent- are women. The average female farmer in the region is responsible not only for growing food but also for collecting water and firewood-putting in a 16-hour workday.

Deforestation and drought brought on by climate change have further increased women’s time spent doing activities like gathering firewood and collecting water for bathing, cooking, and cleaning. Many women in Africa lack access to resources and technologies that might make these tasks easier, such as improved hoes, planters, and grinding mills; rainwater harvesting systems; and lightweight transport devices.

In Kenya, the organization Practical Action has introduced a fireless cooker to reduce household dependence on wood charcoal and other forms of fuel. Made easily by hand and at home, fireless cookers use insulation to store heat from traditional stoves that can then be used to cook foods over a longer period of time. Meals that are placed in a fireless cooker in the morning are baked with the stored heat and ready to eat later that day, reducing the need to continuously fuel traditional cook fires.

Meanwhile, biogas units that are fueled by livestock manure can save, on average, 10 hours of labor per week that would otherwise be spent collecting wood or other combustibles. The Rwandan government, recognizing the value of this time savings, hopes to have 15,000 households nationwide using biogas by 2012, and is subsidizing installation costs. (See also “Building a Methane Fueled Fire” and “Got Biogas?“)

The “Mosi-o-Tunya” (Pump that Thunders) pressure pump, produced by International Development Enterprises (IDE), is a lightweight pump that sits on top of a well and is operated by foot. The pump’s weight makes it easy to operate as well as to transport by foot or bike. Veronica Sianchenga, a farmer living in Kabuyu Village, Zambia, explained how, in addition to improving her family’s diet and income, the pump gave her more independence: “Now we are not relying only on our husbands, because we are now able to do our own projects and to assist our husbands, to make our families look better, eat better, clothe better-even to have a house.” (See also “Access to Water Improves Quality of Life for Women and Children.”)

In Ethiopia, Catholic Relief Services (CRS) helped women living in the rural lowlands near Ajo improve their incomes and livelihoods by creating a milk marketing group. Before the USAID-funded project was implemented, women were carrying 1-2 liters of milk for seven or eight hours to sell at the nearest market in Dire Dawa. The milk would sell for only some 20 cents a liter, and after spending the night in town, the women returned home only to make the same trip again days later, forcing them to neglect their homes and gardens. Now, the women take turns selling each other’s milk at the market, making the long trip only once every 10 days and keeping all of the profits from the day, putting some of the money into savings and using the rest to pay for food, school, and household supplies.

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The R's did what they could to stall the inevitable, but Congress has completed its work on the health care package.

Talking Points Memo reports at 9:06 that the House passed the amended reconciliation bill and the next step is Obama's signature, which could come as soon as tomorrow.

By passing this secondary bill, Democrats have promised to remove some of the more controversial provisions in the comprehensive health care law, while making others more popular. The reconciliation bill nullifies the controversial Nebraska Medicaid deal, which was added to health care legislation by the Senate back in December. It also will close the Medicare prescription drug donut hole, and bolster subsidies to uninsured working and middle-class Americans, who will be required to purchase coverage when reform takes full effect in 2014.

Somehow, Republicans who spent last week and all day Sunday squealing like stuck pigs about special deals for Nebraska and Louisiana spent most of this week fighting like hell to keep them in the law.

Too bad, guys. Thanks for playing.

In a further time-saving move for Vermont’s Public Service Board, which has yet to rule on Entergy Nuclear’s request to join six aging reactors in a shell corporation, NY’s Public Service Commission said NO! to Entergy’s request. Three of the six reactors Entergy wanted to spin off into Enexus are located in NY. The others are in VT, MA and MI.

http://www.nasdaq.com/aspx/sto…

The decision by the New York Public Service Commission is a major set back for the New Orleans-based power company…

Entergy executives have conceded investor fatigue exists over the spinoff.

Two separate items in the “it would be funny but …” category:

First, according to Susan Smallheeer over at the Rutland Herald, the new NRC resident inspector at the Vernon nuke plant should fit in easily to the Entergy corporate culture: he is one of its own former employees:

The new senior resident inspector from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission worked for Entergy Nuclear, the owner of Vermont Yankee nuclear reactor, until 2006, before he left to become a federal inspector.

But a spokesman for the NRC said David Spindler stopped working for Entergy Nuclear in 2006, well beyond the two-year hiatus federal regulations call for.

Oh, well, then, that’s okay. Especially since the NRC spokesman, Neil Sheehan, added this admonishment:

“If an NRC employee faces a conflict of interest, we expect them to discuss it with their supervisors in a timely manner,” he said.

Just like the NRC responded to the tritium leak “in a timely manner.” Don’t we all feel safer now?

Second, Ed Shamy, publisher and editor of The County Courier, a weekly paper out of Enosburg in Franklin County, has editorialized eloquently on a request for bids for a private contractor to make Vermont’s license plates … which are currently made by Vermont prisoners.

Shamy researched the Vermont prison hourly pay rate: 25 cents an hour ranging up to a max of $1.35 an hour:

The state is asking private vendors if they want to make our license plates, and how much they would charge. There could be cost savings to be had, and Vermont is looking beneath every rock and cow pie for cost savings these days.

Well, don’t forget that these prisoners also get room and board, not reflected in the hourly wage.

Perhaps hiring a non-jailed Vermonter could be cheaper. Lots of us can only dream of 25 cents per hour. Another option could be a few thousand school-aged children from mainland China who are looking for work outside the fireworks factory.

Shamy’s editorial was well done, and includes an explanation of what makes Vermont  license plates special: debossing.

(Note: The Courier has limited online access without subscription, but Ed is working on providing a link for us to this editorial, which I’ll add later if it works out. Otherwise you can read this week’s free content at www.countycourier.com)  

( – promoted by GMD)

“Entergy Vermont Yankee invites media to an important announcement …”

That’s what the press release said, so I went to the Vernon reactor site for the new media, greenmountaindaily.com.

As I stood in line to sign in, Larry Smith, head flack onsite for the aging reactor, recognized me and asked what I was doing there. I replied that I was there as a member of the media to cover the event for Green Mtn Daily. “No, you’re an activist. You didn’t get an invitation.”

I certainly did get an invitation. That’s how I knew about the event. But Larry insisted I hadn’t gotten a personal invitation. I scanned the list of attendees as I signed in. Of the 15-20 people in attendance, a third or more were Entergy employees. Most of the rest were members of the old media outlets: Herald, Reformer, Sentinel, Freep, Channel 44. A couple were from the Windham Regional Commission. These were the “key stakeholders” for this “special briefing”.

During this time, my Entergy minder had switched from the Media officer to the Security officer. After more discussion about online media and threats of arrest, I took Entergy’s pre-printed press release and left.

So enough about me. What was the “important announcement” Entergy Nuclear had in mind?

Nothing much new. What we’ve been hearing for weeks:

“Entergy today announced it has identified and stopped the source of tritium leakage…”

The press release continues with more big news, “… Entergy’s Ex. VP, Operations, Mark Savoff expressed regret the leak had occurred.”

No mention that Entergy replaced the underground or buried piping at its Palisades, MI reactor, or any plans to do the same at the older Vernon reactor.

A trifling amount of soil, (“about 150 cubic feet”) compared to the total contaminated area (well over one million cubic feet), will be removed as radioactive waste.

Short version of Entergy Nuclear’s “important announcement“: Once Again, Too Little, Too Late.

This leak occurred when two uninspected pipes, providing redundancy for the reactor’s Advanced Off Gas system, both failed. How long ago has not been determined.

When these two pipes failed, the leaking radioactive water should have been taken up by a sump pump. But the pump failed because it was clogged with muck and concrete dust. Then the radioactive water leaked out through joints in the concrete that surrounded the pipe array. The joints were supposed to have been sealed to prevent such leakage.

This is the kind of multiple, cascading series of failures that caused Entergy’s earlier transformer fire and cooling tower collapse. There’s no indication that Entergy Nuclear is taking real steps to prevent something similar from happening again. The next failure will probably be in a different system. It may have already started, but not yet been detected.

Keep your fingers crossed, seat belts fastened, and evacuation bags packed. The next 23 months may be bumpy.