Salmon patois

Vermont’s own Auditor Tom Salmon got a little mention outside of Vermont on Politico.com the other day and, what the heck, I may as well share it here.  

Remarking to Politico.com on his impending decision to challenge US Senator Bernie Sanders, Salmon explained that he is 65% in.

"Right now, I am 65 percent in. When I hit 75 percent it will commence exploratory.”

 He continued attempting to clarify his position:

I am not attached to the 2012 outcome, my odds, or my political career. I don't need to be senator, or governor, or stay put as state auditor — I need to be an authentic self-utilizing power along the lines of excellence. I am deeply concerned that we address risks of economic, political and spiritual significance through a new brand of leaders that communicate effectively from the sincere center.

That 68-word quote from Politico.com was picked up at Slate by David Weigel, who carefully lays out the daunting practical challenges Salmon might face, then throws it aside and says:

But let's ignore all that. Let's focus on Salmon's completely incomprehensible quote. It sounds like a No Labels manifesto translated into Laotian and back into English.

He declares Salmon’s quest The most doomed campaign of 2012.

I might differ only with Weigel’s English-to-Laotian-to-English theory. I think Salmon’s phrase “I need to be an authentic self-utilizing power along the lines of excellence” reads more like self-help-comic-super-hero-patois. Commence exploratory! Kapow!

Go for it!

Is he getting better and better or what?  

33 thoughts on “Salmon patois

  1. or agenda-laden op-ed I am mystified.

    It is unclear why what he says is so confusing but it is.

    Sad to see Mr. Salmon launch his obviously desperate bid for something. He drops a Freudian slip imo when he mentions ‘governor’.

    I find his now fairly regular commentaries breathtakingly odd. As to what the problem is, I don’t know where to start.

    If he runs, it will be tragic. I’m certain it will be a very bumpy rodeo ride.

  2. 1. Came up in his alphabet soup.

    2. The last thing to cross his mind before that traffic stop.

    3. He wants a job with VY’s quality-assurance department.

    4. He got ahold of a really bad bootleg copy of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” That’s the previously unknown Eighth Habit.

    Whatever it is, somebody needs to put it on a T-shirt. Or a sampler.  

  3. Gee, it doesn’t sound like Lord Chesterfield.

    and I think the correct quote is

    “I need to be an authentic self-utilizing UNIT along the lines of excellence”

  4. per Google, Kennedy is quoted as having said “The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.”

    Maybe it’s the quote that would happen if Kennedy had a love child with Lee Iacocca.

  5. they been testing Tasers in Montpelier? Was this part of the Auditor’s community service that we didn’t hear about?

    Can’t wait for the Salmonizer(R) random quote generator.

  6. Besides his inarticulate ramblings (do you suppose he had a head injury during his service in Iraq?), there’s his ineptitude.

    NanuqFC

    In a Time of Universal Deceit, TELLING the TRUTH Is a Revolutionary Act. ~ George Orwell  

  7. Shooting at the walls of heartache

    Bang, bang!

    I am the warrior

    Well I am the warrior

    And heart to heart you’ll win

    If you survive the warrior, the warrior.

  8. Forget Salmon, even though this is such fun!  I think the serious candidate will be Jim Douglas …with lots of money from outside the State, he would be very credible.  

  9. Nationally, the R’s hate Bernie.  There is no serious challenger to Bernie from inside the State except for Douglas.  And Vermonters seem to reject outsiders.  I’ll bet Douglas already has national money promised.  Why did he really step down?  A year to relax, burnish the image, and then go after Bernie.  Makes sense to me!

  10. …to have a few people dressed in concealing garments made of space blankets shuffle solemnly into his presence and intone (through voice altering devices):  “All your base are belong to us.”

    Julie, I think your talents would be wasted on a random quote generator — what we need from you is to set these amazing statements to music.  “Tommy Fishes For Coherence:  The Comic Political Rock Opera.”

    I never thought I’d see the day I enjoyed anything Politico put up.

  11. Salmon’s mission statement “authentic self-utilizing power along the lines of excellence” may reflect a Fraudian-slip from which flows his bumper sticker message…ASUPALE.

  12. He has a ‘Bernie and Me’ page on his website:

    http://www.salmonforauditor.co

    He’s got some baggage with Senator Sanders it seems.

    December 11, 2010    “US AIR Flight 3312 from DC to Burlington” Stranger than fiction

    In the front row of the commuter plane last night:  Senator Sanders all the way to the left,

    and on the right was yours truly. We only had 2 seats and an aisle between us; we both

    had windows. I was returning from Active duty orders in Louisiana. He was returning from

    the Senate floor and national TV. The conversation was brief, and went something like

    this:

    “Good evening Senator”

    “Hi”

    “Any filibusters today?”

    “Just one”

    I wanted to continue but I stopped there. My next two questions would have been. “Are you

    running for President?” and ” Is Franco picking us up at the airport?”

    ———————-

    The last time I was on a flight from DC to Burlington was July 18. The Senator and I had

    were on that plane as well, with much more conversation, between waiting, boarding and

    retrieving luggage,  including:

    “Senator, you saw my note in the Reformer”

    “You say you are going to run against me”

    “Somebody is going to run against you”

    “Its a free country….”

    Classic

    And he seems to copy people’s comments from the web and reposts them. There are quotes from articles, no links back to the articles, etc.

    Tough to follow.

    Oh wait.

    Wonder if this blogging is happening on state time? Wonder if any more money is falling through the cracks of the Auditor’s office. Wonder how tight the analysis on that VY decommissioning report is.

    Wonder if he considers campaign season open?

    His infamous PDF letter to the Senator is on ‘Salmon for Auditor’ letterhead, but his email to the Senator’s office looks like it comes from his VT state office.

    http://www.salmonforauditor.co

    Glad you are looking out for Vermont!

  13. Did Tom Sr. accidentally drop Tom Jr. on his head back in infancy?  I mean, how to explain some of this behavior?

Comments are closed.