| What is marriage equality?
Before I became a Justice of the Peace, I thought civil unions were the cutting edge answer that gay and lesbian couples desired.
I have been active in my church, and my husband and I just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary in January. We also spent we spent five years as a presenting team for Christian Marriage Encounter*, so I believe that I have a clear understanding of the depth of commitment required in a marriage.
I originally ran for Justice of the Peace because I wanted to be able to perform civil unions as well as weddings, and I was just reelected as a JP. I am proud that Vermont took that bold cutting edge step of creating civil unions for same sex couples in spite of all the negative rhetoric during the legislative process.
Each one of the almost 40 weddings and civil unions I have performed during the past two years has been an eye opening and touching event.
I was only halfway through my first season of performing civil unions when I began to feel that something was sadly wrong with our system. The couples for whom I performed civil unions were as deeply committed and as deeply in love as the heterosexual couples for whom I performed weddings. While civil unions were a giant step forward for Vermont and the country, civil unions are entirely separate and certainly not equal to marriage.
I am not here to argue what traditional definition of marriage has or has not been. During different times in history a marriage has traditionally been between a man and a woman, while in the polygamous societies that exist in some of our allies cultures and right here in the US in some Mormon sects, marriage is between one man and several or many women.
I am here to talk about marriage as a union between two adults.
A few months back, while I was out walking my dog, Steve stopped me, and said he wanted to chat. He said that he had noticed I was a JP and had a question for me.
"What do you think of civil unions and the possibility of gay marriage," Steve asked.
I took a deep breath. While we have been casual friends for almost four years, I know he is very active in the Roman Catholic Church and recently lost his wife following a long illness.
Nervously, I said I have come to believe marriage equality is the direction in which we must move. The couples for whom I am performing civil unions are as deeply in love and committed to each other as the couples for whom I perform weddings. I believe, however, the issue is quite simple, "separate but equal" is never equal.
Steve smiled. "Thank you," he said. "My daughter is a lesbian. I love her. I want her to have the same rights as every person."
Right now in Vermont, those same rights do not exist. Civil unions do not afford couples the same legal and financial protections that a marriage does. It is discrimination. Growing up in the 1950's and 1960's I met many couples who raised their children without the emotional support of their families or communities simply because the couple was mixed ethnically, religiously, or racially. Those times must be over. I have friends here in Vermont who were not accepted as grandchildren by the one half of their family only because one of their parents was French Canadian, so they were considered "foreign".
It is quite simple. Stop the discrimination and move away from fear and hatred. This is not a moral issue.
As someone who has been married for 30-years, I find it encouraging and refreshing to know that once again others value the commitment of marriage. That commitment should be available for every adult, whether they are of different religions, ethnicity, races, or sexual orientation.
I urge you to come to the Statehouse tomorrow for Freedom to Marry visibility day. Meet many committed couples and many other Vermonters who support them. Please join with us to let our governor and legislators know you support equality in marriage.
If you can't make it to the Statehouse tomorrow (Friday, February 6, 2009), please call, email, and write to the governor and your legislators. Visit Vermont's Freedom to Marry site for more information: http://eqfed.org/vfmtf/events/...
Senate President Pro Tem Peter Shumlin agreed that it is not a question of yes or no in a July 2007 interview with Burlington Free Press reporter Terri Hallenbeck.
"Shumlin said same-sex marriage legislation is inevitable. "It's not a question of yes or no. It's a question of when," he said."
That quote was almost two years ago. The time is now.
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