10 Rulings The New Lib-Er-Al Supreme Court Will Come Up With Now That Ruth Bader Ginsburg Has Been Baking Pot Brownies:
#1–They will reinstate the Voting Rights Act, with even tougher language, and appoint the NEW BLACK PANTHERS to enforce it.
#2–Citizens United? No, Corporations are NOT people! Fuck ’em! (“These brownies are really tasty, Ruth.” “Thank you, Tony. Have some more.”)
#3–The voting age will be lowered to 16.
#4–People will have the right to make citizens arrests of the police. (“Man, Ruth…what did we just rule? Hanh?” “It’s okay, Jack. Here, eat another brownie.”)
#5–The Confederate Flag may only be displayed by people or groups with a special permit on Halloween Night.
#6–Term limits for U.S. House members will be 4 terms; for U.S.Senate, 2 terms; and for Supreme Court Justices, 10 years. (“Yeah, well I’ve been getting kind of tuckered-out lately, Ruth. Whoa…what’s IN these brownies? Whoa…Can I have another?” “Sure, and pass them to Clancy, Tony.”)
#7–The Patriot Acts, The War On Drugs, The War In Afghanistan, Fracking, SUVs, Dress Codes, and not deferring to seniors walking with canes will be declared Unconstitutional.
#8–People over 50 will not have to pay any taxes, and taxing the Rich as much as possible will be considered a civil right and civil ‘duty’ of the people. (“Hey, Ruth, I think this is a pubic hair in my brownie.” “YOU FUCKING MORON ASSHOLE! Shut up and eat it, or you’ll be eating my fist!” “Okay, okay, Elena. Jeez…I was just trying to…” “SHUTTHEFUCKUP PIG! EAT IT!!!”)
#9–Sexual harassment in the workplace or any place will be a felony punishable by chemical castration for men and counseling and paid vacation time for women. Also, it will be the job of the FBI and Homeland Security to investigate any and all ‘conspiracies’ to commit sexual harassment, as defined by the ‘conspiracy parameters’ in the recent decision handed down in BUKNATSKI v EVERYBODY. (“Now…wait a minute…did we…what was the vote on…who wrote the…ah shit…pass the brownies.” “Tony ate the last ones. Tony…Naughty.” “Ah chill, Ruthie.”)
#10–Marihuana, health care, day care, utility bills, public transport, fresh water, and vegetable and flower seeds will be provided free by the appropriate government agencies. There will be no laws applicable to marihuana as a ‘cigarette substitute’, nor may any state, municipality, district, neighborhood, school, church, or co-op attempt to restrict the people’s right to smoke marihuana and/or cigarettes when enjoying drinks at their favorite ‘club’ or gin mill while peaceably plotting the overthrow of the U.S. government, as is their right as citizens, immigrants, visitors, and the born and unborn of all races, mixed races, all genders, and mixed genders residing in the United States and its territories, or in vacation spots around the world which American males gather in because the legal age of consent in said vacation spots around the world is 14.
“We so rule, today, June 29, 2015. Court is adjourned. Ruth, is that what I think I smell in the oven?”
Montpelier (Sensitiveville), Vt.