Bernie on NSA/privacy (edited-Working At Home For The NSA)

Well, Bernie’s Town Meeting Forum is over, so I’m editing this for Sue, Stardust & Katrinka.  (And also, Maggie)

I’m 65 years-old and on Social Security.  Imagine the NSA hiring us old folks to work at home to ‘entrap’ people online.  Imagine the following e-mail message in your regular In-Box being written by an 82 year-old Granny working at home part time for the NSA to supplement her ‘cut-back’ monthly SS payments.  Note that her language and diction are not like the young and hip cyber-messages you usually get.  I find this more intriguing.  And more conspiratorial, if not sexier:

“Hi.  Wanna be my Fuck-Buddy?  I’m 26 and blonde with a sexy ‘drop-dead’ body.  Click on my pic gallery attached.

“I’ll be up in your neck of the woods next month and would really like to ‘get-together’ with you.  Giggle.

“And hey!  I’m BI too.  So show your partner my pics.

“All I need from you is a brief response.  Tell me I’m hot and tell me what you think about when you look at my pics.  Do you think about Global Warming?  Heh-heh.  Or do you think other sexy stuff?

“When I’m ready to have sex I like to talk about all kinds of political stuff for foreplay.  All of it political.  All over my body.  I think politics is sooo sexy.  That War in Afghanistan is my favorite.  What a turn-on!  And I like to talk about what it would be like if we all got together and shot a lot of mean selfish sexless rich people, and then had sex on their big fancy dining room tables.  Ohhh yes!  And maybe if we got really kinky, we could do some foreplay together fantasizing about being sexed-up revolutionaries setting up a big sexy bomb at the New York Stock Exchange and blowing Wall Street and half of lower Manhattan all to Hell.  Orgasm City!

“I also love Costume Sex, so we could get military uniforms and sneak into the Pentagon and really go at it.  Yeah.  Deeper and deeper, baby.  So fucking hard!  Faster and faster!  Oh God!

“I’m really into Oral.   So talk politics to me.  Tell me sexy stuff.  Oh God, Yes!  Make me all wet, baby.  Yummm.

“So, please hurry and respond to me.  And baby, will I ever respond to you.  I guarantee you’ve NEVER had it the way I can give it to you.  I promise, baby.  I’m ready for you.  I want to do it all with you.  Tell me you love my sexy long legs and shaved pussy and how they make you want to do to me the things the government is doing to you.  Yeah, baby.  Right there.  Ohhh…that feels so good.  Give me all your nasty moves.  I’m sooooo READY!

“I’ll be the Fuck-Buddy you’ll remember when you’re old and grey and retired from the Peoples’ Liberation Fuck Army.  Living in a big house that was owned by some rich pig who dropped dead from a heart attack after watching us make wild monkey jungle love at the Demonstration in front of his big corporate headquarters.  The one that’s 20 stories high, sticking up like a big penis.  Oh my God!

“Anything political makes me hot.  But smashing the State is where I go completely wild.  It gives me multiples, and I could do it all day and all night and forever.

“I want it.  I want you, baby.  Because I know you’re special.  I Googled you.  It made me come.  I want you to give it to me.  All of it.  You and me, baby, all intimate, wet, and sticky in our private places.  Yes!  Don’t stop now!  Click me.  Lick me.  I want all of you.  I want you to fuck me and tell me how you think and feel about everything while you’re pounding me to heaven!  All your most secret secret dirty thoughts.  Everything you’ve been holding inside you that makes your balls all hard.  All the nasty things you’ve been waiting to scream out loud for so so long, you can scream to me in our climax into ecstasy.  And beyond.  You can shoot a big big load, baby, just for me.  I’ll take it all.  Oh God, YES!  Give it to me!  NOW!  YES!!!

Whewww…  There.  That was soooo good.  Let’s do it again.  And now it’s your turn to be on top.  All you need to do is hit reply.  You know how to hit reply, don’t you baby?  You just put out your big old cursor and CLICK.  Yeah.

“I love you, baby.  Sooooo much.  Yummmm…”

(Oh, and PS:  I have a pair of handcuffs too.  Oh God…)  


This is a kind of half-assed post, and I don’t understand why it hasn’t been posted already by the Sanders’ people in Vermont.

I have been informed that Bernie is holding a Town Meeting forum tomorrow (1pm, Sat., Jan. 31) at Montpelier City Hall (upstairs in theatre section) about the NSA and ‘privacy’ issues.  Sounds interesting, and I hope to attend and hope Bernie has some inside track on what these NAZIS are doing with our e-mail and online communications and political dialogues.

Just so you know, a ‘good’ Little Dem, Maggie Lenz-McQuilken, informed me of this earlier in the week, and I expected one of you other Dems or Bernie’s office to post it here.  But, alas, it is now Friday, and I think something should be up now on GMD.

I hope to ask Bernie to consider an Independent run for Pres in 2016.  If he could get the Green Party, Socialist Labor, Libertarian, Liberty Union and all other Third Parties (including Roseanne) ‘united’ in a move to put all the anti-establishment votes together in one big populist block, I think he could get at least 15 percent, maybe more, and that would be the beginning of a movement that Dem and Republican Congresspeople, Presidential candidates, Governors, etc. would have to ‘pay attention to’.

Somehow, we’ve got to break down a system that is leading this nation into Hell.  Like with Global Warming, we have not accomplished shit on bringing about CHANGE.  Every goddamn Third Party, with its separate ‘special’ issues and ‘special’ candidates (yawn), has divided up our ‘voting power’ for far too long.  It is time to close ranks and try to make a difference with that voting power.  Votes are what the sonsabitches still have to listen to!

And MAGGIE!–Even though you will only be 31 in 2016, I hereby nominate you for VP with Bernie.  If it ain’t legal, Mags, you can pass it on to Roseanne.  Or Jennifer Aniston.  

I wonder if our crusading AG will be there tomorrow:  “NSA?  That’s FEDERAL.  My hands are tied.”  Yeah, no shit.

If Hillary Clinton is the only bright spot on the 2016 horizon, well, we’re in a sad state.  She should have gotten it in 2008, instead of Mr. Do Nothing/Feel Good.  Perhaps, if a Bernie WIND sweeps over the nation in the next two years, Hillary will be forced to make Bernie her VP, so as not to lose to whatever asshole the Republicans recycle out of their garbage.  I can see it now–OVAL OFFICE, May, 2017:

“Jesus Christ, Bernie, I can’t do that!’

“Madame President, either you do that, or I will be forced to sit here and filibuster you until June.  I’ve brought some of my old speeches and manifestos along to read to you from.  Let’s see.  Oh, here’s a good one…”

“All right!  All right!.  I’ll fucking do it, Bernie!  Just please.  Please don’t start speechifying again.  I’m just a little old lady.  I’ve heard all about the Corporate State and the Rich and the…”

“Don’t forget about the minimum wage and Social Security and…”

“All right!  All right!  What Banks to you want me to seize?”

“I have a list here, Madame President.  Also, abolish the Federal Reserve.  And here’s a list with Halliburton, Monsanto and other major corporations who owe the United States Treasury billions.  And here’s a list of properties their CEOs own here and abroad that we can seize, using the troops you withdrew from Afghanistan last month.  And here’s…”

“Okay.  Where’s those Executive Orders you drew up for all this?  And where’s my Presidential Pen?  God, you’re a pain in the ass, Bernie.”

“Just doing the job you told America I would do as a ‘proactive’ Vice President.  And after you sign those orders, I’d like to talk to you for a few hours about alternate energy, Global Warming and the Monarch butterflies.”

Can we do that tomorrow, Bernie?  I mean, not now…I think I’m getting a headache.”

“As you wish, Madame President.  Actually, I do have to put in an appearance at that big rally in front of Congress about the Equal Rights Amendment, and the federal subsidies on child care for working mothers, and FDA action on the Male Pill, and…”

“Yes.  Please.  Just go.  I need to lie down after I sign all this stuff, and after I order the Pentagon to send those units to occupy Wall Street.”

“I’ll let you know what the people at the rally want you to do.  And thank you, Madame President.  I shall take my leave now.”

“Whew…yeah…Thank you, Bernie.  Oh god!…”

“What is it, Madame President?”

“Oh…I’m out of valium again.  Bernie, please send in one of my aides when you leave.”

“You mean Ms. McQuilken or Ms. Aniston?”

“No, Mr. Clooney.  Or Mr. Tatum, actually, if he’s not too busy.”

“As you wish, Madame President.”

Peter Buknatski

& Maggie Lenz-McQuilken

Montpelier, Vt.  

5 thoughts on “Bernie on NSA/privacy (edited-Working At Home For The NSA)

  1. sidesplitter PS. Valium is oldschool – it’s been replaced with Xanax (has a nice new-age ring!) they’ve removed the euphoric side effect so it’s not very enjoyable but replaced with something addictive – can’t have everything!

    I could actually hear Hillary & Bernie’s Brooklyn accent having that conversation when I was reading it.

    Somehow, we’ve got to break down a system that is leading this nation into Hell.

    You echo my sentiments but I must say I’m not optimistic. They were all briefed so they knew about it all along & knew that voters were being massively surveilled going back to Bush, as well as “the secret court” which now says NSA broke their rules & rulings. I see they faced a thorough tongue lashing for that one! Their strongly-worded letters don’t amount to dogshit.

    We have seen both the left & right giving bi-partisan support with Feinstein’s emphatic defense of the indefensible along with others L & R praising & standing up for the massive spying program is a bit discouraging. I’m ready for a “throw the bums out” election of the seismic variety.

    I predict midterms & 2016 will be catastrophic in their overall affect.

    I also believe the Rs could make a comeback due to some of the stupid stuff the Ds have pushed so I’m none too happy.  

  2. Petey, still resisting to the extent I can. Take the new DLs. Double-talking DMV says they’re stealthily implementing the HSA “law” (which really isn’t a law) for pictures on DLs but it’s “voluntary” iow, making it look like a law but hey, don’t like it? No problem it’s “voluntary” – just as it is now [???]

    While other states still are not implementing it & its future appears incertain unless I missed the memo, VT is pushing it forward because we might need it to enter Federal bldgs, nuclear plants & other things that many of us never do. Just need to justify there placing us all under surrvewillance every time we walk into DMV by surreptitously recording us every time we go to the counter.

    I had really hoped VT would be a holdout & one of the more freedom-friendly states but with all LE is up to along with the conyinual assaults on our privacy & rights I’m officially un-optimistic re this also. Stardust is flagged in the “unhappy camper” file.

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