It’s a simple operation

An outpatient operation

You won’t need an anesthetic

You’re not covered for that anyway

We’ll give you some pills afterwards

Because you’ll be in some pain

But the pain should pass and if it doesn’t

Call us  We have another procedure for that

Yes we have performed this operation

Repeatedly  There are many cases

Out there walking around leading

Perfectly almost lives

We’re just going to cut out

A piece of you here and a piece of you

There  Nothing you can’t do without

After a while you’ll learn to adapt

It all depends on your attitude

And following our program carefully

Because after all we’re your doctors

And we know what’s best here

We know what you need and what we need

And what we need now is for you

To strip and lie face down over here

And count to a trillion backwards

And it will all be over

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.