Are you listening, Miss Daisy?

Previously in this space, we have expressed our awe and wonderment at the ability of Tayt Brooks, International Man of Mystery, to hold onto his position as Rasputin to Czarina Lenore Broughton, absolute ruler of the Imaginary Kingdom of Ethanallenistan (the free-market, libertarian haven known in reality as Vermont), After all, the Tayter squandered a million or so Broughton Bucks in a fruitless attempt to elevate Wendy Wilton to the Treasurership and elect a few more Republicans to the Legislature. Anyone with that kind of track record should rightfully find himself quickly unemployed, his golden parachute-pack stuffed with assorted dirty laundry.

But despite all logic, he still has a job. And since Miss Daisy is rather unlikely to follow my advice, I direct her to those other would-be purchasers of democracy, the Koch Brothers. They know what to do when an investment goes south:

Take the billionaire businessmen Charles and David Koch who are spending their 2013 figuring out why they the money they spent in 2012 was such a waste. They have already fired most of their 100 staffers at Americans for Prosperity, and they’re now conducting an audit.  

Yeah! Away with you, incompetent flunkies! You waste the Koch Brothers’ money, you hit the bricks pronto.

Of course, when you’re talking about egotistical gazillionaires, the self-examination can only go so far:

The Kochs have delayed their twice-a-year meetings with big conservative donors until they’ve finished their audit, Politico’s Kenneth P. Vogel reports. The results of the audit will be presented at an April seminar, Vogel writes, adding, “Early indications suggest that they’ll continue playing in politics but will tweak their approach to reflect 2012 lessons.”

“Tweak,” eh? That’s the ticket. Make a multi-million dollar bet, come up snake-eyes, and then “tweak” your approach. Y’know, firing the staffers and then “tweaking” the approach is a lot like the captain of the Titanic firing the deck chairs.  

In fact, the Kochs are just as clueless as Lenore Broughton; they’re just meaner to their employees. And their “tweaking” isn’t going to suddenly add wisdom to a political operation that has more to do with the extreme self-regard of two spoiled rich kids than with any connection to reality. (Pictured at right: the gold coin David Koch minted in honor of his 1980 candidacy for Vice President on the Libertarian ticket. I kid you not.)

The Koch-backed Americans for Prosperity has drawn particular grumbling for ads whose goal, critics say, is more about ideology than victory in November, its daily message determined, one rival SuperPAC operative jabbed, by “whatever the Koch brothers had for breakfast.”

… “These fat cats are never politically informed. A good percentage of them are very politically naive – politics are not their thing,” said Richard Born, a professor of political science at Vassar College, who cited the growing sophistication of political consultants at separating donors from their money.

Hey! Finally, a kind appellation for Tayt Brooks! He may be a complete political hack with no clue about winning, but he’s obviously sophisticated “at separating donors from their money.”  

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