Hillary IN 2016!

“You stupid fucked-up dildo dipshit asshole!  Listen, Senator, you want to talk about blame?  Well, I BLAME YOU and all your impotent male Republican colleagues for what happened in Benghazi, and every other goddamned bad thing that’s happened since 2001!  Because…SHUT UP!…I’m Talking Here!…Because all you little turds have been doing for years is making this country a laughing stock, and that’s why terrorists know they can get away with shit, because YOU REPUBLICANS let 9/11 happen!  And…HEY!…Did I say SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP? or What?!…Thank you…And it’s people like me who have to clean up your messes, and you know what, Senator Paul?…I’m NOBODY’S FUCKING MAID!  And I have ZERO TOLERANCE for MORONS!  Oh…I’M out of order, Senator?  I’ll show you fucking out of order, Titnose!…(Hillary frisbees heavy dinner plate at Senator Paul’s head)…I’ve got seven more of those in my bag, PIG!…a Christmas gift from Michelle…You WHAT?…You want my RESIGNATION?  I’m already resigning, you dim dim bulb!  Jesus!  So I can run for President in 2016!  So I can make your life, and all your fucking colleagues’ lives, a living Fucking HELL! After I’m elected, Senator Paul, I won’t need dinner plates.  I’m going to sign an Executive Order allowing me to cut your balls off with a pair of eyelash scissors live on Fucking FOX News!  But first I’m going to make you all clean up the mess you’ve made.  I’m a what?…A Bitch?…Duh, Senator, how clever of you to have noticed?  Tell me, Senator Paul, can you even SPELL the B Word.  Or are you still working on A, TO, and THE in your speech writing lessons?  You want to know what a Bitch is, Senator?  A Bitch is this very powerful person who sits in this big Oval Office and calls up IRS to have them go through your taxes.  Then the Bitch calls up HOMELAND and the FBI to look into your international business and political connections, and compare them with your voting record on National Security issues.  And then…and this is my favorite one, Senator Paul…the Bitch has all these photos and videos of you performing bizarre sex acts with 13 year-old girls…and boys…and…Oh, yes, Senator…you wait til you see them in the papers and on the tube.  This Bitch is going to ruin your life, Senator.  Because that’s what a Bitch does!   And Senator, when all this happens to you and all your Rich Republican Boy Friends, guess who’s to BLAME?  YOU!  You little piece of animal filth!  Because YOU’RE GUILTY!!  GUILT, Senator!!!  You and all the other MALE PIGS in this country.  YOU AND EVERY SINGLE MALE PIG IS GOING TO BE FIXED!!!  But first, I’m going to Pussy-Whip your asses for…well…for as long as I’m IN THE MOOD!!  You’ll all be BEGGING ME to cut your balls off, and dress you up in some cutsie housewifey dress and make you BAKE COOKIES!!!

“So there.  Now, if this committee has any more questions, I’d be happy to go into more detail about situations and positions past, present and future.  No?  Well then…oh…look at the time…I’ve got to go do a bit for Sesame Street.  You know, Senator, that show the Moron you ran for President last year wants to cancel.  Over My Dead Body!  No…I take that back…OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!…And YOURS!…And YOURS!…(Hillary is flinging dinner plates again, getting more and more deadly with each fling)…And YOURS!..And Fucking YOURS!…Fuck this!…Hand Me That Godamn Chair!!!………..”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

5 thoughts on “Hillary IN 2016!

  1. I’ve been busy.  Now I really, REALLY have to see the video of HiIlary speaking to the Senate today!

  2. before I spotted this-she was just perfect, her studious-looking self. ‘Hillary in 2016’ was running through my mind also. She would give us another eight years of relief from the rabid republicans. I’ve heard some noise about ‘Jeb’, EEK! Not another one, although he was probably the better suited.

    She’s really a remarkable woman & statesperson-my father (conservative) thinks she’s great.

  3. But first, I’m going to Pussy-Whip your asses for…well…for as long as I’m IN THE MOOD!!  You’ll all be BEGGING ME to cut your balls off, and dress you up in some cutsie housewifey dress and make you BAKE COOKIES!!!

  4. She’s probably got a big book on them.  If she doesn’t run in 2016, then expect her to disappear into The Underground, change her name to Tonia (Tania?), get a Mohawk like DeNiro did in Taxi Driver, and then……………..

Comments are closed.