So.  We got a guy who has flashed five times, and still at large.  I love Vermont.  Hope it’s just one guy.  Cause, if he keeps getting away with it, he’ll become Vermont Lore.  Now, the following song is very very politically incorrect.  But, what the Hell.  If I don’t do it, sure as shit someone else will.  I just hope I can get some Vermont singer/songwriter artiste to do this, before they catch the dude.  You know.  CDs.  Super Bowl Half Time, etc.

Yes, perhaps a new State Song.  Also one celebrating Michael Colby’s Birthday (Nov. 19).  Wes–when I get an artiste to do this, I’ll expect a performance at Three Penny.  AND–think about a new ‘micro’-draft: VERMONT FLASHER LAGER & ALE (and BOCK).

The Ballad Of The Chittenden County Flasher

Oh, there’s a guy drivin’ round

Exposin’ hisself,

Showin’ everyone his dick

They call him a flasher

They call him a perv

Everybody says it’s sick

But I get a kick outta thinkin’

That maybe he works for the State

Cause things get dull in politically correct Vermont

I think the Flasher is tourist bait

Ohhh, show us your dick, Mister Flasher

Ski season is comin’ up

Show us your dick, Mister Flasher

Pull your pants down and hold it up

Yeah, show us your dick, Mister Flasher

You’re Vermont’s new tourist bait

Show us that your dick is all natural and Made In Vermont

And approved by the Secretary of State

Yeah, there’s a dude drivin’ round

By the airport

Waitin’ for the tourists to land

He’s Vermont’s own certified Flasher

He’s got MADE IN VERMONT

In his hand

I said, show us your dick, Mister Flasher

And let’s get in on the TV

So they can see your Vermont dick all over the world

And everybody will come here to ski

Yeah, show us your dick, Mister Flasher

Til we’ve seen it more times than we’ve seen CHAMP

Show us your dick, Mister Flasher

While you’re drivin’ by the Stowe exit ramp

(ONE MORE TIME!)

Now, maybe that ole Flasher

Is a Democrat

Workin’ for Shumlin I suppose

Get more tourists here

They’ll come to see what’s bigger

The Flasher’s dick or the Governor’s nose

Come on an’ show us your dick, Mister Flasher

You’re Vermont’s new tourist hope

They’re on their way here, Mister Flasher

Want you to flash them on the downhill slopes

Ohhhhh, show us your dick, Mister Flasher

Make Vermont the greatest state in the land

Show us your dick, Mister Flasher

You’ve got our Chamber of Commerce in your hand

You’ve got our tourist dollars in your hand

You’ve got I LOVE VERMONT in your hand

You’ve got all of us at your command

You’ve got us lookin’ left and right and up and down

Annnddd…ALL OVER…

You’re the Chittenden County, Vermont Flasher Man

Yeah, come on an’ show it, Mister Flasher

That ain’t no dowsing rod in your hand

Ohhhhhh yea…eaaahhh

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.