Spitzer — Just so I Understand the Rules

Dick Cheney pays George Bush $100 for an ole'fashioned Texas corn-holing and George is guilty of prostitution.  He committed a CRIME!!!

George Bush pays Dick Cheney $100 to do the neocon nasty (with his pacemaker turned up to 11) and Dick is guilty of prostitution. He committed a CRIME!!!

However, I pay both George & Dick $100 to fuck each other. Or I pay $300 to George and Dick and Joe Lieberman AND I then film George & Dick fisting and felching Joe who is now reaching around the aisle instead of across it.  I then sell copies of my magnum opus “George Dicks Joe,” say – for instance – through a website. I have just paid three people to have sex, I have filmed it, I will now be paid myself due to the fact that I PAID THREE PEOPLE TO HAVE SEX SO I COULD MAKE A MOVIE OF THE ENTIRE DISGUSTING AFFAIR and it is ALL FUCKING LEGAL and I have a tape to prove it!

Land of opportunity, Baby! See, in America, if someone pays for sex, it is a crime. If someone pays two, three or twelve people to screw and then sells pictures or movies of it, its commerce.  (Excuse me, “art“).

— It gets worse, after the jump.

Grow up. Grow the fuck up.  This country is in the shitter and we are obsessed with a personal tidbit about a guy who has too much money, too much ego and a gullible wife — all of which is totally irrelevant to a n y t h i n g  –  t h a t  –  m a t t e r s.  Other than a penchant for getting laid (and there are worse “penchants”) he is doing a great job as Governor. He was doing a great job as Governor. He will no longer be able to do a great job as Governor. If grown-ups cannot get their leg over without the country coming to a halt, we are in worse shape than Elliot Spitzer's wedding china, much of which has hit the wall by now.


We stopped the country, and no one was allowed to get-off, for two years at the end of Bill Clinton's 2d term of office. We have the world's most overbearingly military top-heavy resource-devouring engine of a nation. So what was the best use of our Government's resources during Clenis' second term?  We tried to shatter to pieces a constitutionally evolved republican form of government because Bill Clinton did what we all expected him to do the first chance he had to do it (and we voted for him twice just the same).

Next, we let three viciously corrupt & partisan Republican Circuit Court of Appeals judges place an equally corrupt prosecutor – Ken Starr a savage with ethical gangrene – loose on the trail of a bad-faith phantom case initiated by GOP fraud and lies. We risked the welfare of the entire nation and parts of the world too, for the prurient political entertainment of Republican hypocrites and criminals who faked outrage worse than a $5,000 hooker fakes an orgasm. 

Nobody bothered to notice we actually were at war in the summer of 2000 – 2001. We were happy to be titillated and stoopid. Still, virtually no one knew and most who knew (including the GOP Congress) did not care that we were at war. Instead, all summer and fall in 2001 it was Chandra Levy 24/7.  On September 12, 2001, the war was over. We had lost a huge battle the day before but the U.S. came out victorious — only to watch the Republicans go back and un-win a war we had just won by not realizing we were in it.

Where is our compass?

This country is going to hell and it has nothing to do with Clenis or Elliot Spitzer.  Spitzer is a hypocrite and I have zero sympathy for him. Shame on him for chasing prostitutes for prosecution as the State's Attorneys General. And shame on us for caring when he chases them for personal gratification behind the back of his long-suffering wife and in front of his humiliated family.

But so what? The man was getting the job done. He is an example of the type of Governor we need. The real problem is, we have a severe shortage of Governors like Elliot Spitzer, and we badly need more like him. Of course, I would not let the Putz date my sister, but I would let him run my state in a heartbeat. That's the point.

How the hell will the U.S. ever function if a person needs to decide between getting laid and getting the job done for the country? I do not care that Ike Eisenhower or John F. Kennedy or Franklin Roosevelt got their rocks off with women who were not necessarily going to show up on the family Christmas card. They got the job done. I don't care that the last liberal President we had (Richard Nixon) slept with his socks on and never did anything more salacious than play hands-up/hands-down with his wife in a dark room with drawn shades and sheets up to their earlobes. He was a paranoid crook and was just as likely to fire a missile from the roof of the White House as impose price controls or triple the EPA's enforcement budget. Like any President, I just do not care about whether he “did” or didn't” when he was off the clock. 

We are so screwed.

How the hell is this country ever going to function now that we have the most corrupt justice Dep't in our history? Republicans need to virtually advertise their felonies on the front page of the Washington Post to get the FBI's attention (Duke Cunningham etc.); but a Democrat like Elliot Spitzer warrants a wiretap and a full scale interstate entrapment sting operation because he take approx. $5,000 off the family budget (perfecrtly legal from what's been reported so far) through money transfers.  


Ari Fleischer gets on his hands and knees to receive a nicely lubed immunity from prosecution. He proceeds to testify that as White House Spokesboy he committed treason. He admits under oath that he committed the very same crime for which the Rosenbergs were executed. The President and Vice President of the United States either conspired or were accessories after the fact to a felony that carries the death penalty. The result: our belovedly inept media cannot stop claiming that there was “no underlying crime” to Republican Scooter Libby's felonious surrender of classified information related to covert U.S. operation in the Middle East. Classified information that went directly into the possession of U.S. enemies.

Oh, AND, by the way, you do know that Democrat Don Siegleman is in prison for appointing public servants to do public service.

Oh boy, we are so screwed.


About Caoimhin Laochdha

Central Vermont life-long civil liberties activist. I offset my carbon footprint by growing my own energy and riding my bicycle at least 8 months of the year. Every election cycle, since Gerald Ford's social promotion to the Oval Office, I've volunteered for at least one Democratic presidential campaign that ultimately finished in second (or lower) place.

11 thoughts on “Spitzer — Just so I Understand the Rules

  1. But he knew the score, knew the law, and he fucked up. You can’t blame the actual fuck up on Bush.

    Nobody is saying he wasn’t allowed to get laid, he just shouldn’t have been so stupid as to break the law to do it, and in such a colossally moronic way (involving thousands of dollars). No pity from me because he was on our side. In fact, it only means I heap extra scorn on him for knowing who he was dealing with, knowing the consequences, and STILL having the arrogance to think he could just flout the rules. Many of us were counting on him continuing doing what only he seemed to be capable of, but screwing high price prostitutes was apparently more important to him.

    He had a responsibility not to be such an idiot. If he wasn’t up to the responsibility, he shouldn’t have taken the job.

  2. Something that came up yesterday is why there may be no defenders of Spitzer.  His arrogance and willfulness to butt heads around obviously didn’t win him many friends, and who knows, may have affected his abilities as the CEO of NY State.

    It’s not a crime; but it’s also a good way to leave yourself isolated and therefore vulnerable when the tide turns against you.

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